I see you.
Sitting there with your coffee mug, wine glass…whatever your fancy.
Looking around at a messy house full of messy bedrooms wondering how you’re going to reply if one more kid asks you for a snack.
There’s the calm, rational response “Sure baby, there’s string cheese in the drawer help your self, but you’ll have one less side with your lunch that’s coming in 10 minutes!”
And then theres .. well..not calm “Did you not hear me tell your brother 14 seconds ago that we’re about to eat lunch? STOP asking for snacks” (raise your hand if you lean this way!! 🙋🏻)
Neither of those responses are wrong in my opinion. However, one will drastically change the overall mood of your home.
Let’s talk about how WE can make a difference in that mama’s response.
I’ll start by telling you that I have 3 kids, and lost a 4th during a miscarriage.
My best friend has 3 kids and they’re about the same age as my 3.
That’s 6 kids. A small school one might say. We stopped going to regular places with everyone once the last 2 came….why do you
think that is? Just look at how precious those last 2 were!!
Here we are 2-3 weeks post delivery at Klyde Warren park...I want to give us credit for this, buuuuut my man's back there ready to do some heavy lifting (and he so did. he chased toddlers and lifted carseats all day long)
IT’S STINKING HARD! And most of the time, people stare. They watch our youngest on phones or climbing out of highchairs and I feel judged. They see our oldest knowing everything from here to yonder and I feel judged. The see our middles losing their absolute minds and I feel judged. Plus it’s just really hard to get them all in and out of the car and various places…sooo many diapers and snacks. I’m tired just describing this scenario.
So it’s easier to play at our houses or go to the gym where there’s daycare or Chick-Fil-A where they can be free in that tiny playground. And I love it, I can’t complain about the daily ins and outs of my life right now, I’m honestly just so thankful to have someone close by in the trenches with me.
I have another friend(Hey Nicole!) who is pregnant with her 5th child. I noticed her beginning to get those comments on social media when she announced her 3rd pregnancy.
“Whoa! Was that planned?”
“Girl, you must be crazy! I just couldn’t do it”
“How many do y’all PLAN on having?’
“Will you be done after this?”
I was pregnant with my 2nd around that time and it was so unsettling to read even one of those. I wanted to have more kids…heck I was getting close to popping one out..and there were people who didn’t think that was ok? In the grand scheme of things, we shouldn’t care what people think. We just shouldn’t…but deep down, it hurts to read those things from people we consider friends or family. Those are the people we just naturally think will support us..
So, friends I think it’s safe to say that you and I play a major role here in this dilemma. We can make a change in our own little circle AT LEAST just by making good choices.
Choose to be the friend who is excited, the sister who can’t wait to dish on all the latest cravings, the mom who rejoices in her newest grandchild, the friend who comments ALL the positive things just because we want to spread joy and light. Be the stranger at the store who walks away from your buggy to baby talk a screaming kid so that mama can find her keto approved pasta or her perfect chocolate chip cookie mix.
I’m asking you to stop scrolling by and actually take a second and encourage that mama posting recipes and scriptures and bumpdates…she needs it no matter how put together she may seem. And truly, SHE IS HAPPY to be pregnant again, so just celebrate WITH her. If you don’t support her lifestyle, that’s ok...you don’t need to TELL her that. You can muster up a measly “Congrats” at the very least and right there you’ve put a HALT to hatred. That’s a big deal!
If we all were to make this simple change, how different might social media be and the pressures we feel as women and mothers to do what is socially acceptable. How much calmer our responses would be if we, ourselves, felt uplifted and supported in the day to day…not just by our spouses, but the women and acquaintances that surround us both on social media and in real life.
It all starts with you girl. Be the light.
And to you mamas, doing it all and looking fly at the same time....you are amazing. You are far more precious than rubies, and you are doing ...A GREAT JOB. Whether you’re counting down the minutes to bedtime or your swinging your littles at the park...you are rocking motherhood! Congrats to you on all your lovely little blessings...and bring on that coffee and wine!