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To All The Moms Who Yell At Their Kids

August 28, 2018

A few weeks ago I shared with you all that I have a struggle with yelling at my kids. Not gonna lie...I typed and erased the word “sometimes” 5 times just now. “If I say sometimes, I won’t look so crazy”....”But if I don’t say sometimes, I’m being more honest and most likely more relatable to the moms who are on my level 110%”....” Nia! Just erase it!"

 

.....so I erased it. Sheeeesh. Honestly, I H A T E the fact that I yell. And I’m not ok with it. That doesn’t mean I judge those who do it too...and I also don’t tear myself down for it (well, almost never). My point is that I decided to just DO something about it a couple weeks ago and it’s making a world of difference in my heart and my actions. 

 

I challenged myself to wake up and read the Bible everyday for a week (usually I read at night or just whenever I find time....or not at all on busy days)...the summer days quickly brought out the yeller in me and I found myself becoming unraveled D A I L Y. Here’s an account of how that went....

 

DAY 1 

I downloaded a devotional “No more unglued mama mornings” and read day one. I didn’t yell at anyone that day. I took deep breaths, prayed short prayers, and remained pretty calm in my firmness when needed. 

 

DAY 2

Woke up, made coffee, read my devotional + some other scriptures while the kids watched Ferdinand. I did pretty good today too...I really got tested a few times, but I didn’t actually yell. 

 

Day 3

Same first 4 steps to the day as yesterday. Today I really felt the urge to yell multiple times. I would tell whoever tested me “Go sit in your room until you can talk respectfully to me”...I learned this (and lots more) from the book “Triggers”. It’s a great, quick read for the mom trying to make a change. 

 

Day 4

Same first 4 steps again. 

F A I L

I yelled. And in the moment I felt warranted. I felt like nothing else would have gotten through in that particular moment...and at the SAME TIME my own mind was saying “stop! say all of this same stuff but in a calmer tone! just chill out and say it quieter”.........30 minutes later I apologized for yelling, explained that my words meant the same, and I should have used a nicer tone when saying them out loud. (Have you ever asked a 7 year old to clean their entire room before?) It’s like a step by step project with this one! I’ve got my little routine for how to do this successfully with no melt downs, but today we were in a big big hurry. My bad for not planning an extra hour and a half for cleaning barbies and socks and tiny craft projects. 

 

Day 5

Same start to the day as the ones before. 

I didn’t yell today. I might have raised my voice slightly, but I also explained immediately after that I wouldn’t have done so if everyone would have stopped talking when I asked them to. This is a different “yell” scenario. 

 

Day 6

Same start up

I’m learning so much from this devotional. Practices, scriptures to pray over myself and my day, and even deeper reasons to why I yell when I do. 

I was a little impatient today, but I realized that in those impatient moments, without reading the scriptures beforehand and reminding myself all day long to be calm, I would have totally lost my cool. 

I ate lots of ice cream at the end of the day. 

 

Day 7. 

One full week of consistent reading and praying for this specific area in my life. Today went well, my patience is growing and growing in a way I didn’t think was possible for a girl like me. Do I think it will be this way every day of my life? HECK NO! But I do think that if i continue to practice, learn, pray, and grow that I will continue to see good results. Sure, i’ll have a slip up and yell again, but I refuse to beat myself up about it and I refuse to just accept that I’m the mom who always yells. Not for me. 

 

 

 

I hope you’ll consider trying this challenge out. 7 days is just long enough to get some good discipline in place, and short enough to approach without being too intimidated! Comment below, or message me privately and we can tackle this thing together! I love y’all! 

 

 

 

 

 

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